it doesnt matter how many people love you and are there if you might need them to be, its just never enough......just locked in a room littered with pill bottles and cigarette packs....all you can hear is typing and the clicks of a mouse in here.... i wont bring him down with me. i wont let him get to the point where i am. i dont want him to take pills. sounds hypocritical but i speak from experience.
i just want to crawl away and hide from everyone. i cancelled my tattoo appointment for tomorrow and made up excuses to anyone i talked to.... swirls of emotions overcoming me.....intense anxiety and frustration.
ugh
fuck.

im too fucking shitbrained to write right now.